Cancer

My aunt's husband has cancer. He was diagnosed in July with stage four colon & liver cancer and shortly after the diagnosis a scan of his lungs found cancer there, too.

As hard as it is to be optimistic, I know the reality of this but can't bear to think about the outcome. People beat cancer everyday. People also die from it everyday and with it being in three organs and stage four, this can't be good.

Every time I talk to my aunt, I walk away and cry or get off the phone and cry. Watching her struggle with this is more heart wrenching than anything I have ever witnessed. It is hard to see Rob struggle too, but at this point he is on pain meds and is completely out of it. I guess knowing that he will get some peace is comforting. My aunt on the other hand is watching her husband slowly die. Then she will have to deal with the heartbreak of his death and somehow pick up the pieces and move on while dealing with the grief.

They were together almost 13 years. They were just married one year ago in May. It was my aunts first marriage and his second. They're both in their 50's. This kind of thing just isn't supposed to happen.

I'm not having a good day. My hip is hurting and going up/ down the stairs has been excrutiating not to mention very slow. The rest of my points hurt terribly. Yesterday was the last day of my meds. The script ran out and I can't see the rheumatologist until October 4th. I can request a refill through my PCP but it seems like a waste of money when it wasn't really working anyhow.

I know that I'm miserable and that everything is getting under my skin. I'm trying very hard not to take it out on anyone else. I've tried several things to get comfortable and nothing has worked, so I've been restless for the last hour. I really hate when this happens.