Sometimes I get into these ruts where I seem to encounter problems with everything that I am involved in. I swear it feels like these stupid grey clouds follow me around waiting for a moment where I am tired, sore and have no energy to fight back.

I seem to be more involved with things that seem to open me up for these types of ruts - between my business and personal life, I am pretty over extended. Although I really try not to, I take everything personally. I view every mistake as a blow to my character. I am working on this. I have made progress. My biggest fault is diving headfirst into whatever the issue is without taking five minutes to think about it. If I walk away and let it hang for a few, I am usually in a better place to deal.

I know that having my own business and producing something that may not make everyone happy, I have to accept that I can't please everyone. In the 6 or 8 months that I have been on this road, I have had two people that complained, which I guess is pretty good. The first time the incident was totally believable and the person stated only the facts. I really felt bad that the item was damaged in transit. She got her money back. The second time the situation wasn't believable and every attempt I made to work things out, the person made a dig at me, at the business and at my item. I ultimately gave her money back but kept my mouth shut even though I wanted to tell her she sucked and never to come back.

Being on the other side, I know that it makes me mad when something gets lost in the mail, arrives damaged or is otherwise not as it should be. I've experienced my share of those situations lately. I bought some molds from someone and had a really hard time working with them. They were impossible for me to work with and I blamed it on inexperience. So I spent time reading up trying to figure out how to get them to work for me. I even let the Girlies try them out, because usually they can figure things out. The molds were still a fail. I waited almost three weeks before I contacted the site because I know what it feels like to get a complaint and have to take a loss. But the truth was, they were not going to make me any money and I was frustrated. I got a refund after they asked me some questions. In the end, I am happy and used that money to buy something else that has proven to work better.

In another situation I am having a real hard time getting the issue resolved. I am basically dealing with a middleman - the seller of the item who promised a replacement but is now reporting that the manufacturer wants to send a fix. This is a more emotionally charged situation because the item is my dining room table. Of which cost a lot of hard earned money, is a fixture in our every day lives and a piece of furniture that I picked out and truly love. And, is defective.

These stupid situations drain me. Exhaust me. I hate that dealing with things that are somewhat important suck me dry mentally. I know that this is part of the chronic fatigue and Fibro. I hate that feeling of being so mentally stressed out that it manifests into physical pain and exhaustion. I am still learning to cope and maybe I just need to scale back for now. But how?

Not again!

I sprained my ankle today. I didn't get it checked it out but I know for sure it is sprained because I had the same exact type of twist and fall motion on my left side a year and a half ago. It's the same exact shooting pain, the lack of being able to put pressure on my foot and the same type of joinig lock that I feel when I try move or twist my foot.

I'm not even sure how it really happened. I was reaching to get something then took a step but I guess my foot wasn't stable and sideways it went. A second later, I was on the floor, my fall padded by my coupon binder and a bag of textiles that I was carrying. I have that awful vomit/faint feeling reflex so between feeling that and the pain in my ankle, I'm glad I was on the floor.

My hub put my air/gel filled brace on me which helped relieve some of the pain but that thing is so awkward and bulky. Wearing it with shoes is impossible so I had to remove it when we went out, which was okay. I limped around for most of the night and put the brace back on while I slept. This sprain isn't as severe as the last one because I am able to put pressure on it, though not by itself (steps are a killer) and the pain isn't quite as sharp.

It makes me so mad because I still feel very occasional pain in my left foot and now this.

Laziness

I know that I need to get better at this - this writing thing. I've had so many things happening in my life that I regret not taking the time to log in and slap it down. There is no good reason. I am simply lazy.

A to Z

A. Age: 33

B. Bed size: King. Best purchase ever.

C. Chore you dislike: Cleaning the bathroom.

D. Dogs: One big baby named Cabo. Have had him since he was 8 weeks old.

E. Essential start to your day: Washing my face.

F. Favorite color: purple

G. Gold or silver: silver

H. Height: 5 foot 4. I hate that I am so short.

I. Instruments you play(ed): None... I am not in the least musically inclined.

J. Job title: Wife, mom, head crafter

K. Kids: 2 Girlies

L. Live: In a red brick ranch in the burbs.

M. Mom’s name: Doesn't apply.

N. Nicknames: Jame, Ja, Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mother... you get the idea.

O. Overnight hospital stays: For the birth of B (1997), for the hernia while pregnant with H (2001), for kidney stones while pregnant with H (2001), for early labor with H (2001), (finally!) for H's birth(2001), for my breast reduction (2006), for my hysteroscopy and removal of my uterus (2009).

P. Pet peeves: Animals locked in cars while their owners shop or eat. Lifetime welfare recipients. Interrupting. Pathological liars. Two faced people. Backyard breeders. Lifelong welfare recipients. Those who cannot accept blame or responsibility for their actions/words. People who think they are entitled.

Q. Quote from a movie: "If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me" Clairee in Steel Magnolias

R. Righty or lefty: Righty.

S. Siblings: we won't go there.

T. Time you wake up: It depends on the day and my awful sleep patterns.

U. Underwear: Victoria Secret cotton are my fave

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Asparagus, Artichokes, Brussel Sprouts

W.What makes you run late: Usually my own slowness - or my children.

X. X-rays you’ve had: Too many to remember - broken bones, asthma and teeth

Y. Yummy food you make: I bake all kinds of yummy foods- cakes, cheesecakes, cookies, muffins, etc. I cannot cook, however.

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Flamingos - how cool are pink birds?

Some Questions

Are you married? Happily for nearly 14 years

How do you like your steak? I don't like steak

What is your favorite TV show? Parenthood

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Near the beach

What is your favorite cuisine? Junk food.

What is your least favorite food?

Favorite Place to eat? Don Pablos or Max & Ermas

Favorite dressing? Ranch

How many tattoos do you have? One.

Where would you visit if you had the chance? Italy

Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on the hour.

Where would you want to retire? The beach.

Favorite time of the day? Bedtime.

Where were you born? Pittsburgh Hospital.

What is your favorite sport to watch? Penguins Hockey

Bird Watcher? Only when that cool looking giant bird is in my yard.

Do you consider yourself attractive? Ehh.

Pets? Two felines and one canine.

What did you want to be when you were little? A big sister. As it turns out, it's not all that great.

What is your best childhood memory? Christmases with my Pap

Always wear your seat belt? Yes

Do you smoke? Nope, never did.

Do you sing? To embarrass my Girlies.

Favorite pizza topping? onions

Favorite flower? Not sure I have a favorite - I like different flowers in each season. Lilacs, Hyacinths, Irises and Daisies are high on the list.

Favorite Ice cream? Strawberry

Favorite Fast food? Chick Fl A

At what store would you like to max out your credit card? Macy's

What is your favorite color? Purple

Coffee drinker? Noooo way.